17 July 2008

Change Your Life

For once I would like to see a book entitled, "I'll Change Your Life For The Worst". That would be so refreshing!

Really! I'd like someone to write a book about how they went from joyously happy to bottomless pit depressed-- and stayed there. Wouldn't that qualify as a "change in life"?

Yeah, I'm just being a wiseguy. I know that kind of book won't sell, which is why next to nobody's writing one.

Look, I'm all for changing one's life for the better. It's just that there are a plethora of books, articles, films, and websites about how to make life better. We're on self-help overload!! Just go to your local bookstore and you'll see that it's the largest section in the whole place. Looks like there's money to be made in this market! Climb on board if you want a piece of the action!

So, I'm going to write a self-help book. Alert the media!!!

I'll change your life. I just can't promise that it will be in the direction you want.

Proposed book titles:
How To Sleep All Day
Enjoying Everyday Lounging
Become a Bitter You
Learning to Loath
A New Girth
Sloth For Dummies
I'll Take All of Your Money
Victories of Vice
Become a Total Schmuck in 90 Days
The Purple-Skinned Life-- A Primer in Asphyxiation
Sucks-ess

Please let me know if I can be of any help to you.

2 comments:

Chris said...

That is awesome! Need a co-author?

Doug Hoag said...

Here's an idea I'm sort of borrowing from Steve Martin:

You and I can write a book called "How to Get Along With Everyone" and then treat each other horribly in public!